I am learning ever so painfully, with tugs, and pouting and yelling and fighting (all with God), one of what would seem to be the easier truths to handle in life: I am utterly dependent upon God.
There I said it. Whew. Now I feel better? Don’t you?
Am I crazy? Did I ever think I could live my life and do so without being dependent upon my Creator?! If so, I am crazier than ever.
But seriously, if I am honest (with me and you), I must admit that sometimes I only “confess” my faith with my lips all while living my life as a ‘functional atheists.’ And I honestly respect some of my atheists’ friends, because they say they rely upon the goodness of people rather than faith in a “higher power.” But me, well, I need God. I mean, I need God just too even get out of bed sometimes.
I say I live my life as a functional atheist sometimes because if I look at the details of my life, I say with my lips that I have surrendered to a loving, omnipotent Being but I make choices and worry and fret as if that Being either does not exist or is me. Scary!
I need God.
And I am not ashamed to say that. I need God to stay sober. I need God to create in me a clean and true heart. I need God to fill me with divine love. I need God in order to be tender, compassionate and just. Without God and divine love in my heart, I am just a liar, a thief, a cheat and a whore. And I’m neither bragging nor ashamed to say that truth.
I am dependent upon God and that is a good thing for me, for today I know I am loved beyond compare; I know, experientially, that I am one with my God, and that I am never separate from the Eternal Source of Divine Love.
I am dependent upon God and because I am such, I also am a child-like finite of the Infinite. I am a tender expression of the Unsayable Said. I am a flesh and blood utterance of the Ineffable. I am a dynamic expression of divine love taking place right here and now.
I have come from Divine Love and to this Love I shall return.