Divine Gifts

“For the gifts and the call of God are irrevocable” (Romans 11:29).

I was watching this TV show on Netflix, “Eli Stone”.  It is from a few years ago and it’s a show about a lawyer who has visions from God that come true and these visions stem from a brain aneurism.  All of the visions do two things: they make Eli look off his rocker and they always serve some higher purpose like helping the homeless, fighting for a vet who is losing his housing, or a single mom whose ill child cannot get treatment.

The character Eli Stone thinks the aneurism is a gift from God, one that offers him the experience of the transcendent while putting his gift squarely in the service of humanity all while he lives under the ever present threat of dropping dead at any moment.

This show reminded me of the double-edged nature of our gifts from God.  We are blessed with a burden, and our burden is a blessing.  That is in truth the very nature of God’s gifts to us.

These gifts God has blessed us with are irrevocable.

If we do not like them, well, tough.  We can try to hide them, but they will burn a hole through our souls (and maybe our stomachs as well).  We can run from them, but God is relentless and Jesus is the hound of heaven…he will pursue us in love, until we cease to run and surrender to the gift that is Him and to the gifts he has placed within us.

And here is the kicker about God’s gifts in us: we must never forget that a gift is something given, it is not something we own.  No matter what our divine gifts are, we are compelled to remember that these gifts were given to us for two primary reasons: for God’s glory and for the good of humanity.

They were not given merely for our enjoyment or pleasure.  Yes, we should find great pleasure in these gifts that God has given us, but they are, as stated previously, for the glory of God and edification of the Body of Christ and to reveal the love of Jesus to the world – those should be the sole/soul reason we were given them.

I find that when I am truly in touch with the gifts that God has given me, I am filled with this odd mixture of sadness and joy; for our gifts and callings are usually found somewhere between our greatest Joy and our deepest Pain.  And in that space, that Holy place where pain and joy meet – a place where we become fully human and fully aware of God in the fullness of divine love – that space is where our gifts get molded and carved out.

If you are wondering what gifts and callings you have…take a look to the space and place where your greatest joy meets your deepest, darkest pain.  I am so bold as to venture to say that place is where you will find God calling you to your gifts, calling you to his healing love, calling you to let your life be a blessing to others.

Yes, the gifts and callings of God are irreversible (permanent) and irrevocable (binding) and they are bound to us, but they need not be bondage.  For God’s gifts are given in freedom that we may freely give them and share them.  For in these gifts we are given purpose, in them and through them we find our calling to be a People who discover our place, our work, and our mission in building God’s kingdom of love, mercy, justice and compassion

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Today is the 10th Anniversary of the death of my son, Quinn.  Here is a poem I wrote back in 2009, it took met seven years just to be able to put any words to that experience of gaining and losing a son all in a flash.  God bless you Quinn, I adore you and praise God for all that He gave me through you.

Calling All Angels

Calling all angels,
I’m calling out for all the
I’m faltering,
I’m falling hard…& and I just can’t walk
through this night
not this night alone.

I’m calling all the angels,
please walk me through this  Night.
I’m falling,
I’m dying, and
I just can’t make it through…

I see this man,
He lay dying,
His soul all on the streets…
I’m looking, I’m searching,
But I just can’t make it through…

I’m calling all
Calling all the angels,
I’m dying, I’m trying, but
I just can’t make it tonight alone.
I cry out for mercy, holding my first
& only flesh
of my flesh,
this divine bone
Of my bone,

But I feel his heart beating, hard and fast
In my hands,
But still
He is, still
(and) lifeless.

I’m calling all angels, calling all angels,
Please help me through this night,
But I’m not sure how…
To make it through this sad darkness.

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